Hi guys, today I just want to talk about 3 Do's and Don'ts (or tips)for starting a conversation with a foreign person. These are not in order of importance. They are simple a few good ideas.

　　Meeting anybody for the first time, or making an acquaintance with anyone, can be quite awkward by itself. Things can sometimes feel even stranger when trying to acquaint yourself with someone who is from another country, and in another language.

　　This week we'll talk about 3 things you shouldn't do.

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　　1) Don't be shy or overly-excited

　　Honestly, if you do either of these, you'll probably still be welcomed—it just makes the other person make a conscious effort to be friendly to you.

　　If you are too shy…

　　Guys and girls do this, though, in my experience (perhaps because I'm a guy) it seems like girls do this more often. I don't think it's because of my stunning good lucks either! It can be a little intimidating and a little scary to trying to speaking with someone in another language that they are very good at—especially, if they don't know your language, or if they speak very fluently without (seemingly) thinking about your language level.

　　You show people you are shy by looking down and speaking softly, and kind of ignoring that the person is there. It either makes you look a little dull (dumb) or, believe it or not, rude because you aren't acknowledging that that person is in the room. So, speak up and at least acknowledge that they are there.

　　If you are too excited…

　　Well, that at least is either funny, fun or a little awkward, and though that is better than being shy in some ways, it really isn't the way you want to go either.

　　It makes a person feel as if you aren't really meeting them. Suddenly, that foreign person isn't just a normal person, they begin to feel as if they are an event or spectacle to watch. It can draw a lot of unnecessary attention to the person.

　　It really is better just to be relaxed and genuinely interested in meeting someone. Even if you language skills aren't that great, the way you interact with that person can still leave a good impression with them.

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　　2) Don't treat people like they're rock stars

　　First, people are people. Duh…but what I mean is that on occasion it seems like some people, especially younger people, like students, look at some foreigners as if they are rock stars. This is especially true if the guys are tall, muscular, and handsome or if the girls are pretty, white, blonde or all if they are all of those things, haha.

　　Even better than treating them like a rock star is to treat them in a friendly way. This is a subtle and slight difference, but people can feel it. One feels like people treat you nice because they think something about you (as if you are a rock star) and another is that people treat you nice because they want to be friendly towards you (your just a normal person).

　　My guess is that foreign people, especially those that get a lot of attention already for whatever reason, will appreciate just being treated like a normal person. They can tell who is looking at them like a rock star and who is just trying to be friendly.

　　If they are a person who really seems like they only like being treated like a rock star, then let others do that and you go find another friend. Right? You don't want to be friends with someone who is self-absorbed and is more interested in your adoration than your friendship. Make friends with foreigners who treat you like a normal person, and do the same for them.

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　　3) Don't assume all foreigners are the same—or at least don't communicate that!

　　This can be quite funny…or offensive, I suppose. So, this one time my friend (Chinese), a really good friend, asked my wife a question that started, "Why do all white people…?" I don't even remember what the question was, but that was a hilarious start to a question. Good thing we had some 關(guān)系 before she asked that question, haha.

　　It is true most people in the world are Chinese, however, that leaves another 6 billion people who are not! You know, most educated and thoughtful people, of course, understand this. It seems quite obvious, no?

　　However, it's pretty funny how often these kinds of things are communicated. There's a pretty big Sinocentric way people think in China—which makes sense. People in America, for example, will do the same thing (Americentrism). This "centrism" is where you judge people according to your standards, and where your cultural standards are the norm and everyone else's are exceptions.

　　The funny thing that seems to happen here in China though is that some people will kind of group all foreigners into a huge foreign category. And you know what? In America, some of us can kind of do the same thing. It's quite tempting to think that because people from Asia all kind of look the same, and are from the same general area of the world, that they might basically be the same kind of people.

　　For example, pretend that I thought (I really don't) that Japanese, Chinese and Vietnamese people were all the same. Or that you and Vietnamese person were 差不多 the same. How would you feel? Or that Chinese and Japanese culture is basically the same? How would you feel?

　　You would notice that I was mistaken. I would seem small-minded and maybe even a little dumb.

　　Think about that the next time you think or want to ask someone something like: Why do all foreigners…? Why do foreigners usually…?

　　Instead, just ask that person what their personal habits and opinions are. Trust me, this is the easiest way. Or you can ask them what do people in their culture usually do, think, eat, etc., while always knowing and acknowledging that there are huge differences even within a single country or cultural group.

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　　Wow…today's class was a bit of a lecture-style of sorts! But stay tuned next week for some practicals on what you can actually do to make better friends with some foreign people you might meet.

　　Thanks guys!

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